Middle East

Middle East: No Peace, No Process

Dear George W. Bush,

Dear George W. Bush,

It’s unpleasant for me to remind you, but for almost three weeks you have been killing hundreds of Afghan civilians. The truth is, your actions bewilder us, but we chose to remain silent, even though we knew that one does not mow down an entire nation for one Bin Laden.

We, as you know, have our own problems. You can count our Bin Ladens in threes. And we, for your sake, have been accurate in eliminating them. We have targeted terrorists with the precision of a laser beam. We haven’t put hundreds of planes in the sky, like you; just from time to time we have used a helicopter here or there to eradicate the head of another snake. Mind you, however, we liquidated Abu Ali Mustafa using one of your helicopters while he sat in his office and we even managed to keep the frame of his office window intact. Your overkill, to my great dismay, is targeting innocent people. In short, George, leave Afghanistan immediately and don’t go back there. The war is upsetting our shaky coalition between the Likud and the Labor parties.

But lately, it seems to me that you are also messing up our relations with the Muslim world. Up until now, the Muslim world has accepted, perhaps out of force of habit, our surgical operations. But with this “blitz” that you are conducting in Afghanistan, we worry that you have gone too far. Your country has become a burden to us, as opposed to an asset. Suddenly, protesters in countries that before had never heard of us, like Pakistan, Bangladesh, Malaysia, and Indonesia are burning Israeli flags in the street. The world is punishing us for our support of you. And worst of all, you have started to disrupt our own activities. Not only haven’t you succeeded in taking out Al Qaeda, you are also interfering in our own liquidation of terrorists, who tomorrow could become your terrorists as well. You might not know this yet—but any terrorist killed in the West Bank or in the Gaza Strip today, will not be making it to Manhattan tomorrow.